


Something's gotten hold of my Heart

by medeadea



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Goddammit, I swear, M/M, Massages, and Kuroo's a great friend, and bromantic, but Bokuto's an idiot, make friendships weird, no 'no homo' crap, they're hella awkward
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-27
Updated: 2016-05-04
Packaged: 2018-03-26 00:20:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3830218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/medeadea/pseuds/medeadea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Want me to give you a massage?" Bokuto asked while getting out of his jersey.<br/>"Can you even do that?" Kuroo turned his head towards Bokuto and found the energy to raise exactly one eyebrow.<br/>"Sure," Bokuto assured.</p>
<p>OR: Massages can lead to crises, but friends are there for you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Slight Confusion

**Author's Note:**

> Bokuroo has ambushed me! And massages are great! :D
> 
> Anyway, this is fun to write and a little bit experimental. Thanks Marge for beta-reading, you gem >.>  
> I'm also continuing my habit of naming my fics after songs I listened to while writing...

"Oh my god, Bo, everything hurts," Kuroo lamented as he plunked down on the bench in the middle of the changing room.

  
He and Bokuto had stayed behind to practice serves after another strenuous day of the Fukurodani training camp. Now, after three days camp and extra practice, Kuroo felt like his limbs were one collective ball of pain and cramped muscles. Bokuto for some reason, didn't have the same problem, he fidgeted and was still full of restless energy.

  
"I'm gonna stay on this bench until my towel has merged with my skin," Kuroo groaned and tugged on said towel spread under his body.

  
"Want me to give you a massage?" Bokuto asked while getting out of his jersey.

  
"Can you even do that?" Kuroo turned his head towards Bokuto and found the energy to raise exactly one eyebrow.

  
"Sure," Bokuto assured and started weakly pulling on the hem of Kuroo’s sweaty jersey. "Akaashi and Konoha always like it."

  
Kuroo lifted his upper body slightly and eased himself out of his jersey.

  
"Then I'll trust their judgement. Don't mind my sweaty back."

  
"Pffft, what do you think my hands are like? We gotta shower afterwards," Bokuto laughed.

  
Humming, Kuroo closed his eyes and tried to relax while Bokuto put his hands on him and began kneading his lower back with obviously practiced movements. His body slowly became heavier and heavier while Bokuto worked magic on his muscles. When Bokuto moved upwards between his shoulderblades, he tensed and groaned.

  
"Augh, that hurts, Bo. Go soft."

  
Softening the pressure of his fingers, Bokuto asked, "Better like that?"

  
"Hmmm, yeah, shit, feels good. Where didya learn that?"

  
"With my sis, when we were younger. Now I only do it for guys, ugh. My talent is so wasted on dudes."

  
Kuroo laughed weakly and closed his eyes, concentrating on the heavenly feeling that spread on his upper back.

  
Bokuto took Kuroo’s dangling right arm and laid his wrist on his lower back. He then gripped  _under_ Kuroo’s shoulder blade, smoothing his fingers under it, and that was when a loud and definite  _moan_ escaped Kuroo’s throat.

  
"Wahahah, am I _that_ good?" Bokuto laughed and repeated the motion.

  
"Shut  _up_ ! I told you,  _everything_ ’s sensitive, you ass."

  
"Alright, alright other arm, please," Bokuto amended and worked on Kuroo’s left shoulder blade.

  
Slowly, Kuroo drifted back into his state of blissful almost-unconsciousness, only kept awake by short painful moments when Bokuto changed his grip.

  
He stubbornly kept his eyes closed even after Bokuto had finished and playfully slapped his shoulder.

  
"C'mon lardass, move. You gotta shower."

  
Kuroo groaned.

  
"Nooo, I'm even deader than before. My soul is ascending to heaven, can't you see it?"

  
Bokuto slowly neared his fingers to Kuroo’s sides and gave his best to suppress the wide grin spreading on his face. Not that Kuroo would have seen it coming anyway.

  
With a sudden lunge, Bokuto sat on Kuroo’s rear and dug his fingers in Kuroo’s sides who shrieked and brought his arms down to protect his ticklish spots while he squirmed vehemently.

  
“BO! Fucking shit, let me gUHFF!”

  
They both had fallen from the bench in their scuffle whereby Kuroo had managed to land on top of Bokuto.

  
“Yooo, Kuroo, shower now?” came from beneath Kuroo’s chest along with a weak chuckle.

  
Kuroo shot up as fast as his jellied legs let him and grinned. “You okay down there, jackass?”

  
Bokuto took the offered hand and pulled himself up. He shook his head and furrowed his brow but steered towards the showers.

  
“C’mon stink bomb, let’s get clean, and then I need something to eat.”


	2. Heavy Confusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teenagers being teenagers, saying and thinking teenager things!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has actually been written forever ago (mostly before the first chapter even) so the quality's a bit.. meh. But it's also been sitting on me too long so now I just don't care any more. Next chapter will be new and hopefully sooner, heh.

Bokuto watched Kuroo roll his shoulders and grimace while he prepared them a pot of tea in his kitchen. He liked hanging out at Kuroo’s because his dad and stepmom both worked and Bokuto could just lounge around all day with Kuroo, playing video games or watching stupid shows on TV without being disturbed. His own mother would just remind them of homework or studying or some shit. And god forbid his siblings were home, he’d get not one free second.

 

“Is your shoulder okay? You haven’t pulled anything, right?”

Kuroo looked up from pouring hot water on the tea leaves and frowned.

“Nah, don’t think so. Just kinda stiff since this morning.”

Kuroo’s incredulous tone surprised Bokuto, as if Kuroo hadn’t expected him to notice his discomfort.

Anyway, a pair of stiff shoulders were nothing a good bro couldn’t fix, especially one of his caliber.

“Why didn’t ya tell me? Remember, I give killer massages!”

Kuroo grinned.

“Right, I remember. Felt like my spirit was leaving my body after that one.”

“So? Want a massage?”

“What’s in it for you?” Kuroo asked while he turned around to get cups out of the cupboard. The ones he liked were on the top shelf and Bokuto hummed while Kuroo stretched himself and groped for the right ones. Somehow his legs looked really long today. Or maybe it was just the shorts he wore.

“I woulda done it for free, but now that you say…”

Kuroo swished back around and slammed his hands on the countertop.

“NO, dammit, I take it back! I want a massage for free!”

“Too late, now I demand ramen for it,” Bokuto laughed and raised his chin, crossing his arms.

Kuroo just sighed dejectedly and turned back around to get the cups. The tendons in the back of his knees kinda stood out when he stretched up like that. Bokuto wondered if Kuroo was ticklish there like his sister was.

“If it’s gonna cost me that much, can you go up and throw the shit off my bed? Be right there when the tea’s finished.”

Taking the cups Kuroo held, Bokuto hummed in assent and climbed the stairs to Kuroo’s room.

He cleared Kuroo’s school uniform and bag off the bed and laid down on his belly. The sheets were warm and soft and they smelled pretty nice. Just like Kuroo.

 

Kuroo pushed the door open with his hip and put the teapot and cups down on his bedside table.

“Am I gonna get that massage now or later?” he asked and poked Bokuto in his side. It tingled.

“Now, so I can get my ramen earlier. Get your shirt off,” Bokuto commanded and heaved himself off the bed. He rubbed his hands a little so they would warm up and watched Kuroo get into position. Kuroo had a nice back, he could see his muscles underneath Kuroo’s skin. Nothing against his own though.

 

He started low, circling the heel of his hand slightly over Kuroo's tailbone and used his thumbs to stroke along Kuroo’s pelvic bone. He then slowly moved upwards along the spine with small but strong circular motions of his fingers.

Kuroo had closed his eyes and laid there completely relaxed. His arm dangled from the side of the bed and sometimes his fingers twitched when Bokuto caught a sore spot. Bokuto grinned. He wondered if Kuroo also had this tingly feeling in his fingers like himself.

“Is it okay so far? Your lower back’s pretty relaxed.”

“Just wait till you’re at my shoulders. You’re gonna fee--AAH,” Kuroo moaned as Bokuto reached the muscle between his shoulderblades. He hadn’t even pressed _t_ _ hat _ hard but immediately noticed the knots that had appeared there. For some reason he felt a little short on breath and his heart beat faster. Just a little though, so he ignored it in order to concentrate on Kuroo's shoulders.

"Yeah, I feel it, your shoulders are super tense. What didya even do?"

"I think I threw my pillow out of the bed last night and covered my head with only my arms. That got kinda cramped."

"You still do that? Why?"

Kuroo shrugged, which reminded Bokuto that he had stopped massaging and he started over, stroking along the muscle where Kuroo's neck met his shoulders.

"Dunno, old habits die hard, I guess."

The dismissive tone convinced Bokuto to drop the subject and he continued quietly.

 

After at least half an hour of thoroughly kneading Kuroo, Bokuto deemed his job done and he dropped a concluding kiss on Kuroo's nape, where the vertebrae were visible.

When he sat back up he realized Kuroo had tensed and turned his head around to peek at Bokuto.

"Did you just kiss me?" he asked, eyes big and tone very quiet. Bokuto frowned and thought back a second.

"I… did?"

Kuroo tuned a little more and propped himself up on one elbow. His eyes were still huge, fixed on Bokuto's face and his mouth was slack.

"Dude, I’m gay, you can’t just kiss a gay guy. Why did you do that?"

Bokuto froze.

"YOU'RE GAY???"

Confusion clouded his brain, he couldn't concentrate. He just knew that this was definitely news to him and shouldn't he know something like that about one of his best friends?

"Didn’t you know that?"

At least Kuroo seemed as confused as he did, if his face was any indication.

"N-o. No, I didn’t."

He definitely hadn't known that. He couldn't grasp a thing going on, his thoughts jumping through his brain too fast to follow. What was going on? Since when was Kuroo gay? What did that mean for him? What the fuck was going on here? Shit, shit, shit...

"I gotta go," Bokuto wheezed out and pushed himself up. He had to get out of there before he lost any more of his composure and freaked out completely. Kuroo wasn't fast enough to react at the speed with which he stormed out of his room, slipped into his shoes and stumbled out of the house.

Running, he tried to push his thoughts away, forcing them to calm down and get rid of all this confusion. It didn't work, because it never did like that, and when Bokuto finally admitted that running away from his confusion never worked, he was already three blocks down from Kuroo's home and at the park where they sometimes liked to hang out and eat watermelon.

Bokuto stopped, barely winded, and looked around, searching for something that would slow his thoughts which still bounced inside his head with insane speed. He found a bench, where he decided to plop down and bury his head in his hands. For once he didn't care about his hair or that he completely messed it up in his desperation.

Was he gay now? He  _ had _ kissed Kuroo, who was definitely a guy. Why had he done that? What was going on? It just didn't make any sense at all. And Kuroo was gay, why didn't he know that? Was he a bad friend for not knowing that? Of course he was a bad friend; good friends know important shit like that about each other. And why the hell didn’t he know that stuff about  _ himself _ ? Never once in all of his seventeen years of age had the thought crossed his mind that he could be  _ gay _ . Why was it there all of a sudden? He just didn't understand the simplest things, it was so stupid. Stupid, stupid!

He started at the feeling of someone sitting down beside him on the bench and could spy a pair of naked feet in flip flops from the corner of his eye. Definitely Kuroo’s.

“Hey Bo, what’s going on?” he heard Kuroo say very quietly. Of course Kuroo wouldn’t leave him alone now; he’d do the same for Kuroo. At least he hadn’t scared his friend away yet, even if Kuroo’s foot bobbed on the sandy floor like it did when he was pissed or nervous.

Bokuto just shook his head and blew a rush of air through his nose.

"Why did you run away just now?" Kuroo asked, voice very level and calm as before.

"Because I'm confused. I don't understand- running might help?"

Not even his sentences were making any sense and the constant tensing and relaxing of Kuroo’s thigh in his peripheral vision didn’t make it any better. He squeezed his eyes shut.

"You're confused? By  _ what _ ?"

Kuroo’s voice got louder and insistent but he didn’t know what was going on in Bokuto’s head, he couldn’t know all the jumping thoughts and guesses and doubts.

"I don't know, myself, my head, why did I do that?"

Groaning, Bokuto tipped back against the backrest of the bench and stared at the sky. It was blue and clear in marked contrast to his convoluted thoughts and feelings. Nothing made sense and he didn’t know what to do.

"Soo... this isn't about me?"

"What? No? Maybe a little? I'm obviously a bad friend to you, how do you even put up with me?"

He turned his head to look at Kuroo who had pulled his T-shirt back on and was watching him with furrowed brows and steely eyes.

"Okay Bo, I need to hear this loud and clear: You do not mind me being gay.  _ But _ you're overwhelmed by something else?"

"Uhhh, yes? Yes, it's me, my head's just- I don't  _ know _ , I don't get anything, I'm too stupid to think, what do I do now?”

‘Overwhelmed’ seemed to be a bit of an understatement at the moment.

"All right."

Kuroo sighed and rubbed his face with his hands. When he looked back at Bokuto his shoulders slumped and he pulled a grimace for a second.

"How about... how about we do what we did after that thing with your sister. That worked, right?"

"Yeah."

It was true, they had done this before and it had worked. Bokuto just muddled his thoughts too much or thought entirely too much at a time. He could straighten this out, do it slowly and thoroughly. Somehow.

Kuroo straightened his back and pulled one leg up on the bench, turning fully towards Bokuto.

“Okay, you cool enough?” he asked.

“Dunno, just bring me down again.”

Somehow. Bokuto knew he could do this, even if he wasn’t sure of anything right now. He had help.

“Okay, so, I'll just start,” Kuroo began, “You gave me a massage, that was okay, right? We’ve done that before.”

He just had to go with it. The massage had been okay? It had to have been. He had done it before. Kuroo’s back wasn’t that different from his sister’s.

“C’mon, Bo, you’ve gotta do this with me.”

Yes, Bokuto had massaged Kuroo before, and that had been fine.

“Yeah. T’was fine.”

“Okay. and when you were done, you kissed my neck.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you know why?”

Bokuto screwed his eyes shut and and buried his fingers back in his hair. The hair gel made this rather uncomfortable but he ignored it. He felt like he deserved a bit of pain right now, and maybe it would help his thoughts clear up. Bokuto didn’t know why he had kissed Kuroo, he’d done it before he even knew what happened, whatever  _ that _ meant. 

“No. I just wanted to. I’m so useless!” he groaned without even looking at Kuroo and twisting his face further. Thank god, Kuroo stayed calm through all of this shit. He sat still, only his fingers played with the hem of his shorts. His voice was steady and Bokuto was infinitely thankful for him.

“No, no, you’re not. I often do shit and I don’t know why. That happens. Anyway. Kissing me was fine, right? No freakout potential?”

“I think? I was just kinda surprised with myself? And you smell like lemon.”

Why that detail had seemed important he didn’t know. But whatever, maybe it would help him straighten stuff out.

“Haha, yeah,” Kuroo laughed. Apparently he didn’t find it weird.

“Okay, what happened next?”

“Uuuh, You told me you’re gay? I think?”

Yes, that was it, where his thoughts had started to started to run a mile a minute. Kuroo was into guys. And you don’t just kiss a gay guy.  _ Why didn’t you kiss a gay guy again? _

“Right, I did. Didn’t you know that? I thought everyone knew this…”

Kuroo seemed seriously wondering at this, he inclined his head back and pulled his mouth in concentration as if trying to remember something. When he couldn’t come up with a solution he looked back down at Bokuto, who pouted.

“I didn’t know that. And then my brain got stuck,” Boluto whined.

“Okay, what about it could have made you panic? I mean, you know that I’m harmless, right?” Kuroo asked with some incredulity and a surprising intensity in his voice.

“Of course I know that. But what does it say about me?”

Bokuto was pretty sure by now that kissing Kuroo’s neck was at least a bit gay, because Kuroo was nothing like a girl, what with the sheer size of his back that took a lot longer to massage than his sister’s and probably all girls he knew. He also had those super long legs with thighs a girl could die over and kinda big hands and stubble on his jaw. Nope, nothing about Kuroo was at all girlish. What made this whole disaster somehow even more complicated.

“We don’t know that yet,” Kuroo answered and calmly laid his hand on Bokuto’s shoulder.

Who promptly tensed up. This whole prickly feeling from before was back and it made him nervous. It had been there before, but not as intense and focused on one place. Now it was only his shoulder where Kuroo touched him and didn’t bleed into other parts of him. This was all very weird and he didn’t like it one bit.

“No, don’t touch me!”

“What!?”

Kuroo pulled his hand away as if burned and his eyes flashed at Bokuto. Suddenly he wore his massive frown from before again and his mouth hung slightly open. It looked like he wanted to say something but Bokuto got ahead of him and groaned.

“I get more agitated when you touch me. URRRGH I hate this! I don’t get iiit…”

Bokuto was back to ruffling his hair and pulling on the grey strands. Soon there wouldn’t be any gel left and it would hang down into his eyes. Whatever, not like he cared.

At least the frown melted from Kuroo’s face and his eyes grew large. 

“You… get agitated?” he asked and cradled the hand that had touched Bokuto in his other hand absentmindedly.

“Yeah, like everything prickles where you were. Like my hands are still like that.”

Bokuto stared at his hands and closed them to loose fists trying to get the prickling away.

“From the massage?”

“Yeah, that is so weird. Never happens with anybody else. I don’t understand anything!”

Bokuto buried his head in his hands again. Somehow he couldn’t really look at Kuroo any more. How had that happened?

But of course, Kuroo kept his cool, logically going through with his questions.

“Is there anything else that’s weird around me?”

“I don’t knooow, everything is weird around you! But also normal! I hate myself!”

Why why why couldn’t Bokuto ever think straight himself? It was so annoying and everything was strange and confusing and his hands still tingled and why had he thought so much about Kuroo’s legs today anyway? This was a fucking disaster.

“Heyhey, no reason for that! So much shit happens to me that I don’t understand. It’s normal!”

As if Kuroo ever lost his cool this much. There was definitely something odd going on with Bokuto.

“But I shouldn’t feel nauseous all the time and I’m even more hyper when you’re there, even Akaashi said it. I know I can be unbearable but I can’t do anything about it! What’s going on with me?”

 

“Well, to be honest, that sounds a lot like a crush to me... Getting nauseous, tingling fingers, random kisses. Do you want to kiss me anywhere else? Or did you earlier?”

Had he wanted to kiss Kuroo anywhere else? When he thought back… yeah.

“Uhm, that place where your spine dips down the most? The small of your back.

“But wait, I have a crush on you? Is that even possible? You don't have any boobs at all?”

Shit, was that it? A crush? Then Bokuto really  _ had _ to be gay. He hadn’t ever had this kind of crush before with weird tingles and confusion. This was getting all sorts of freaky, he couldn’t be gay. He  _ shouldn’t _ be gay because he had never been gay before in all of his life. Why would that suddenly change? Could it just suddenly change?

“Maybe I don't have boobs, but it's still very much possible to have a crush on me. Maybe you're just not as straight as you thought?”

Kuroo was funny,  _ just not as straight as he thought _ . It’s not like this was in any way unimportant news, how couldn’t he have known that about himself?

It just showed again how useless he was, not  even knowing shit about himself.  _ Important _ shit. 

“But what? What do I do now? I don't know…”

Bokuto sat back up, his desperate energy lost. At least his thoughts had slowed down to a manageable level. He just felt dejected any more.

“Hey Bo. There is nothing much to do. Not being straight isn't a crime. D'you think we got to the core of your panic?”

Yeah, fine, Bokuto could live with that. It probably really wasn’t that big of a deal.

“I guess?”

He definitely  _ felt _ better than before, not as frantic or seemingly on the verge of mental collapse. Just dazed and kind of weak.

Bokuto let his head slump down on his chest. This was exhausting. But at least over.

Kuroo straightened up, put his leg from the bench back down and carefully laid one hand on Bokuto’s knee. That was okay, only minimal tingling and now he knew where it came from.

“Okay, let's summarize:” Kuroo said. “You are not a straight as you thought and probably have a crush on a guy. I suggest watching yourself for other signs, Can you do that?”

Bokuto looked up and curled his toes in his shoes. Kuroo’s face was neutral and open, waiting for him as he always did. Trusting that Bokuto would come out of his slump. He knew he could.

“Yeah, sure. I'm not stupid,” Bokuto said, frowning and tapping his fist against his chest.

A grin spread on Kuroo’s face and he lifted his hand from Bokuto’s knee.

“There is our Bo again! Right you aren't.

“Also, the guy you have a crush on is me and I'm gay. And you didn't know that before…”

With the hand he had lifted Kuroo counted the rest of the facts down on his fingers, documenting what they had pulled out of Bokuto’s insane thought-knot.

“And you smell like lemon.” 

Bokuto continued Kuroo’s finger count on his own hand. Kuroo snorted.

“That's my bodywash.”

“Mmmhm, nice.” Bokuto smiled. It felt weird on his face right now.

“Okay. How about I bring you home and you turn these conclusions around in your head a few times until you know how you feel about it? That always helps me a lot,” Kuroo said and ran his fingers through his hair. He seemed to deflate a bit himself. 

“Yeah. yeah, that's cool.”

“Good let's go.”

They both got up and turned towards Bokuto’s house. Neither of them spoke on the way there, Bokuto’s thoughts still turning around and around. Just because they had slowed down and were distilled to a few sentences that could be counted on fingers didn’t mean that Bokuto was much less confused and insecure about himself. Those were some big questions right there.

When they reached his front door Bokuto turned towards Kuroo and pulled on his shirt. He still had to say something to Kuroo before he buried himself in his thoughts.

“Hey Kuroo.”

“Hm?”

”Thanks. For.. bringing me back down. I know I can be too much sometimes. Thanks for.. not leaving me to freak out.”

“Hey. Always, you know that. You're a lot cooler that you think sometimes.”

Kuroo was really something else. Way awesome. No surprise that Bokuto had a crush on him, at least his gay side apparently had good taste.

Suddenly the door opened in front of them and his mother stood in front of them. She had probably seen them through the window. Typical, these old people, always have to know what’s going on outside.

As soon as she saw Kuroo still standing there she reached for him and squeaked.

“Hello, Kuroo-kun! Come in, come in, I just made some iced tea!”

Bokuto sighed, he was already embarrassed. Sure his mother knew Kuroo well, but he couldn’t handle this right now. 

“Mum, leave him be. I'm going to my room.”

Whatever, he didn’t want to think about his mother now. He had a sexuality to figure out and apparently a crush on one of his best friends. Hell yeah, what an afternoon.  _ NOT _ .

 

Kuroo looked at Bokuto disappearing into the house with slumped shoulders and shuffling his feet.

“Oh my, what is it now?” Bokuto-san asked him, having detected the gravity of Bokuto’s bad mood with the ease of someone who had to deal with his mood swings for the past seventeen years.

Kuroo shrugged and turned to her pulling his brows up.

“Eeehhh, try to be a bit forgiving with him, he's having a gay crisis…” he said and scratched the back of his head. Well, it wasn’t really his fault. But still…

Bokuto-san just laughed and put her hands on her hips.

“A gay crisis? Finally. I thought he'd never notice.”

“You knew?” Kuroo was baffled. She never had let anything show.

“That he also likes boys? Of course! what kind of mother do you think I am?”

“Dunno. A good one?” He shrugged, relieved. Now that he thought about it, that just now could have gone off entirely differently, he  _ had _ just outed his friend to his mother. More or less. Whoops.

But Bokuto-san only laughed louder and clapped him on the shoulder.

“Come in, come in, I'll get you a glass and we can sit in the garden. How's your mother?”

**Author's Note:**

> The next chapter will be longer ^^


End file.
